"The camera is an instrument that teaches people how to see without a camera." - Dorothea Lange

Friday, December 17, 2010

perfect

Today was a perfect day in Kajjansi.

It was defined by a pendulum that swung from joyous to sad and back again. That is consistently the way it is here in Uganda for me. I suppose that is part of the pull; experiencing intense emotions on both ends of the spectrum make me feel very much engaged and very much alive.

Joyous:

Welcoming CTT sponsored student Billy back to SMK. He’s been at school all term (and, of course, I hadn’t seen him since last December). Billy was in the first group of five students for whom we started paying school fees back in early 2007. He just finished Senior 6, the last year of high school. Now he is completing his applications for University. He would like to attend Makere University in Kampala and major in business. We call Billy the “Ugandan Usher” because he bears an uncanny resemblance to the American Usher! He is so sweet and adorable, a very good student and incredibly appreciative of the assistance CTT has provided him. His broad smile lit up the room when he walked into Melissa’s house this morning to greet me, and the hug I got was huge and heartfelt.

Joyous:

It happened in the yoga room again. Watching young Sam lead the children through their poses made me feel so happy. For them it is an escape from their everyday worries and consuming sense of loss. The yoga students take their practice very seriously, but they also manage to laugh and have a good time. Most fall asleep during the relaxation at the end of the class. They look like little angels, resting peacefully together – their colorful yoga mats arranged in a circle on the dirty, dusty floor.

Sad:

I was playing with a gaggle of young girls this afternoon and noticed a skinny, sad, quiet young boy following us wherever we went. It must have taken quite a bit of nerve for him to finally ask me (in a whisper) if he could have a bandage for his foot. I saw that it was wrapped in toilet paper. He had a pretty good-sized cut on the bottom of his foot. Nurse Mel provided us with a basin, and he washed his foot. Then she gave us a Band-Aid. I asked him if he had shoes; it was clear the Band-Aid was not going to stay on his bare foot once he started walking around. He said he didn’t. I took him into town on a boda-boda, and he selected a pair of plastic orange slippers. They cost me one dollar. I figured a cold orange Fanta would go pretty well with the new shoes. He said his name was Kizza, and when we got back to the orphanage he softly said, “Thank you, Gloria.” I think during the entire experience he spoke about eight words. Those last three melted my heart.

Sad:

Sheila is one of our sponsored students. She’s a kind, gentle, lovely 16 year-old who works hard in school and usually ends up near the top of her class. She asked me if we could talk today. She told me it is still so hard for her to deal with her mother’s death. (Her mother died when she was nine.) She wanted to know if I thought it was bad that she has put away all the photos she has of her mom because they still make her cry. She wanted to know if her mom was right not to tell her that she was sick and therefore died without giving Sheila any chance to prepare emotionally for the bomb that exploded right in her face. She asked me these and many other tough questions. I am no therapist; I felt unqualified to answer. I did manage to provide reassurance, support, a lot of handholding and some wiping of tears. Sheila is one of those people who gives lessons in strength and resilience.

Joyous:

Our star sponsored student, Douglas, who will graduate from nursing school in May, spoke to me a long time today about what his goals for the future are. When I asked him if he had a top choice for where he wanted to work after graduation he said, “Yes, St. Mary Kevin.” He wants to give back to the place that nurtured and shaped who he is. He explained his well thought-out plan for turning the current, part-time medical clinic into something much larger and even profitable. He went on to say that (in his dream) he would spend part of his time enhancing the music program at SMK. Later in the afternoon, I was drawn to the area outside the library by the sounds of drumming. There was Douglas, working with the dancers and drummers, his heart spilling out all over the place. The young kids looking up at him as he demonstrated a tweak in the choreography or a new syncopation was indeed a sight to behold.

All this, and I got to continue making new pictures.







3 comments:

Christy said...

Mama Gloria...that was so beautifully written and every word was such a perfect vision of what you see and feel in a day in Uganda. I'm missing everyone so and wish I could be by your side with support and hugs for all the specials souls at SMK. Please keep writing and passing out hugs and love for all of us!
XO,
Christy

Gloria Baker Feinstein said...

thank you.

you are missed, christy. the children ask about you and send you so much love. i had a really nice time hanging out with rosette today. she's an amazing young woman, isn't she?? she LOVED the book you made for her. it will always be a treasure for her. miss you! xoxo

stacie said...

Thanks so much for the daily updates! Isaac told me at dinner he would like to sneak into my purse and get out my money and send it to you to take to Uganda. (And he hasn't even been following the blog!) I told him we could read all of your blog entries so he can see what you are doing while you're there.

Are you shooting all of this with your iPhone?