by the sea

Eddie and I find ourselves on the water once again. We have come to Portland, Oregon for a few days and have made our way to a magical place called Cannon Beach.

signs of spring

Tulips, dogwoods, magnolias, jonquils, robins, prom! Max came in for the weekend from LA to don a pink bow tie and take his girlfriend to the big dance. It was great to see him.

jewelry

It is always so exciting when a letter or package arrives from Uganda. This morning I received a thick envelope chock full of beaded paper bracelets, earrings and necklaces made by the older children at the orphanage. You can purchase these at the "store" on the Change the Truth website or wait until our event on June 12th. They're so beautiful.

change the truth update

I recently received an email from Rosemary updating me on what our money has been doing to help change the truth for the children at the orphanage. I am asked, from time to time, how I can be sure the contributions that are made do indeed go where we think they’re going. The good news is: I have complete faith and trust in Rosemary, director of St. Mary Kevin Orphanage Motherhood, AND she is faithful about forwarding detailed receipts for each purchase or payment made with Change the Truth funds.

In response to my question about the money we have sent for food purchases and the continuation of therapy started by Ann and Melissa during our mission trip in December.

“There is now a visible difference in the children’s feeding and well being.”

As far as the children who are now attending secondary school because of our assistance:

“School fees have been paid in April for the next term for 16 pupils. Rosette, Emma Vincent and Edward are interested in vocational school instead of secondary school. We will explore this and get back to you.”

I asked about Douglas, the young man we met (and fell in love with!) in December who had expressed interest in attending nursing school. Since some very generous friends of Change the Truth have offered to pay his school fees, I wanted to make sure that Douglas was absolute in his desire to become a nurse. Rosemary agreed and instructed him to do his research.

“Douglas considered other options open to him like –Music/Dance/Drama Diploma; Teaching at Primary school level; further academic studies up to University, etc. He still prefers Nursing. Douglas researched at least six nursing training options (Hospital General ward duties; Psychiatric; Dental; Midwifery; Old People's Homes, etc). He prefers Surgical Nursing, as an assistant to doctors in the Operating Theatre.”

With regard to the sustainable projects we are helping support, Rosemary filled me in on the latest in that arena, as well.

“The projects are progressing well. Pigs – 9 adults, plus 25 new piglets. Brick making project – net profits have assisted with teachers' salaries. Beaded jewelry – net proceeds used to buy school uniforms for orphans.”

As we prepare for the Change the Truth friendraiser/fundraiser , we have made an appeal for patron support. Many of you have received such a letter. The event is free and open to the public; the money we raise will come in the form of sales from the silent auction, the “store” and donations from friends. If you would like more information about this, please email me.

As is evident from Rosemary’s correspondence, the assistance we are providing is doing some very good things. Thank you! Let’s keep up the good work.

87th birthday

Happy Birthday to one of my most avid blog readers and one of my most very favorite people in the world - my dad! This picture was taken when I was eleven and he was forty-four. That was the summer the Beatles did their second big US tour, starting with a sold out performance at Shea stadium. Way back in time..


This is a picture taken of my dad at a track meet. (He's the one in the middle of the frame,) He was seventeen. That was one year before Germany invaded Poland. Way, way back in time...


Both pictures were taken in Kentucky, the place my father has called home since the day he was born. Happy Birthday, Dad!

poster

This poster is going to be available for purchase at the June 12th event. For those of you who are out of town, who won't be able to attend, let me know if you'd like to buy one. I am printing it on 13" x 19" Museo Portfolio Rag, one ink jet print at a time! The cost is $25.00. I can ship it right to your doorstep! Of course, all proceeds will go to the children at St. Mary Kevin's.

parting shot

Back to reality tomorrow.

sunset

Yesterday we drove down to Key West, strolled around town, tasted their margaritas, had a great dinner (roosters at our feet) and then headed over to Mallory Square for the sunset celebration.

exercising a different muscle

I think some of these may actually be worth printing when I get back home. For now, they are more like work in a sketch book. I am limiting myself to the lens baby (for the most part) just so I can try out a new shade of charcoal/a new stipple paper, if you will. In the old days, I would tape these new pictures up in the darkroom or scatter them around the house on various tables (so I could catch a glance as I walked by) to see if they have any staying power OR lessons to learn that might help get me to a new level. Now, with the blog, I can return to them with a click of a few keys and study them in an easier fashion. Sharing them with others at such an early stage is always kind of scary, but as I get older, I definitely feel braver in that regard!

more florida

Watching other people swim. Watching the birds as they stand along the shore. Sharpening my watching skills. Being on vacation.

fish

We are spending the week in Islamorada, part of the chain of Keys in south Florida. If people are not eating fish, they are fishing for fish.




It's perfect here. The sun with just a slight, constant breeze always in tow and pure "island style" relaxation is just what yours truly needed.

water

Now that I am swimming more, I am beginning to rediscover the love I used to have (when I was a kid) of how everything looked under water.

If you have been familiar with my work over the years, you know that I have always been drawn to images of water… the surface of it, the way it reshapes whatever is in it, the mystery of it, the possibilities of it looking like something completely other than what it is… the way a figure can be pulled into it, taken over by it or, even freed by it.

I am in Florida this week, spending time looking at and being in the water. I have started to make some new pictures about it, and this time it feels like I’m underneath it again – as I so enjoyed being as a little girl, swimming around in my Aunt Evelyn’s pool. Imagining what things above the surface might look like underneath it - as well as considering that intriguing place where water and sky meet - seem to be capturing my attention at the moment.

sam and abbie

Sam and Abbie's song "Chemistry" is going to be included on a new CD - a compilation of emerging singer/songwriters. It's a beautiful song, and I'm so thrilled that others will get to enjoy it. You can, too, by clicking on this widget below.

Sam and Abbie

life before death

Remember the "dialogue" we had about pictures of the dying/dead? Abbie recently sent me a link to a series of portraits that dives head into this issue. These are portraits made by German photographer Walter Schels of people who knew they were dying (they were all in hospice) and who had agreed to be photographed as they were critically ill and after they had passed on. They were also interviewed by Schel's partner. It's kind of tough to view, so beware. Personally, I think it 's an incredibly powerful, dignified, intriguing and courageous body of work. It's clear that the subjects were pretty amazing themselves.

framing party

Today the Change the Truth Friendraiser/Fundraiser committee was busy framing the artwork made by the children at St. Mary Kevin’s. It is amazing to see the artwork come to life in their white museum mats and beautiful frames. The children would be so proud to see their paintings and drawings presented this way!

There will be approximately sixty pieces available for purchase at the silent auction on June 12th. Don’t miss the chance to bid on these precious gems.

camp

I was really lucky as a kid to get to go to summer camp. I went to a girl’s camp in northern Wisconsin – one that has been there since the 1950’s – for two months each summer for three years. I was in my early teens. I still dream about those years, those girls, that place.

I learned, among other things, how to set up a tent, build a camp fire and cook on it, sling bows and arrows, run rapids in a canoe, tye-dye and make really good friends.

The camp is getting ready for it’s 50th reunion and has dug out of various basements, drawers and closets thousands of old photos of campers over the years. I’ve been going through them online. I want to share two of my favorites.


If you have ever been swimming with me, you know that I do this awful imitation of synchronized swimmers doing a maneuver I think is called “ballet leg.” I learned it at camp. I am most certainly not in this photo, but this is the move. Well, I could possibly be the girl second from left in the water, because that’s pretty close to what my “ballet leg” looks like. At any rate, I love the photo.

The next one sent chills down my spine when I saw it. Yes, I learned how to print in the darkroom at summer camp! And here is the very darkroom. Again, not me in the photo, but to see a picture of the place where I first dipped my fingers in the developer – well, that was a thrill!

only in new york

My good friend from New York sent me this photo. Couldn't resist sharing. Thanks, Carol!

bronia

I have written about my friend Bronia before. You may recall that she is Holocaust survivor. (Please read my post from December 24, 2006 for her story.) But she is so much more than that.


At four and a half feet tall (give or take an inch or two), she is a giant of a woman. Bronia has been through it all. She endured the murder of most of her family in Europe, was imprisoned in several concentration camps and was eventually sent on a death march. She relocated to America as a young woman lacking money, connections or a good grip on the English language. She has been a wife, mother, business owner, grandmother, community volunteer, public (and “motivational”) speaker and beloved friend.


She called yesterday to say her car had broken down and asked if I’d take her to the grocery. As we strolled up and down the aisles, I was struck by her sense of determination, dignity and pride. It was obvious she wasn’t feeling well, but she kept on moving. It was clear she was down, but she kept on smiling - greeting a beloved friend or fan by the produce counter, again in dairy, again in the check-out line and once more in the parking lot. I was sure she would run out of steam, but she seemed to brighten with each and every encounter. After shopping, she invited me into her home (along with my friend Sandy who had accompanied us.) With much animation, she delivered one of her legendary spontaneous lectures. Sandy and I, held captive by her charm, commitment and compassion, heard about the importance of being strong, even in the face of adversity.

Bronia loves to sing a song (it’s in Yiddush) that has a chorus with the following English translation: “I’m gonna LIVE, LIVE, LIVE [she puts full blown emphasis on these words] until I die, die, die.”

I don’t know anyone who does “living” better than Bronia.

swimming pool

One of the ways I have been regaining my strength and improving my range of motion has been swimming. Today I schlepped my camera to the pool.

lynne

Lynne Melcher is a textile and dinnerware designer, whose collections have been carried by, among others, Crate and Barrel and Williams Sonoma. About a year ago she decided to delve into the world of filmmaking, a medium that has always fascinated her. After taking a few workshops and classes, she packed up her video gear and accompanied us to Uganda this past December to make a documentary about Change the Truth.

She shot twenty-five hours worth of footage. She worked tirelessly, capturing in a very artistic fashion the lives of the kids at St. Mary Kevin Orphanage and the work that was done on our mission trip. I made this picture of her when we were in Gulu.

Since we returned home three months ago, Lynne has surpassed “working tirelessly” whatever that might be called, and has poured her heart and soul into the film. Today I was privileged to see what she has put together so far, and I was very impressed. Next week she wants me to add my voice to it as part of the narration. Having never done anything like that before, I must admit I feel a bit intimidated!

The finished film will be shown at the CTT fundraiser/friendraiser in June. Please make every effort to attend so that you can see it for yourself. You’ll be witnessing the first of much more to come from this emerging filmmaker.

construction site

That would be me.

Several of you have written to ask how breast reconstruction works. Since I’m in the middle of it, I can certainly tell you. So… if you are not one of those have asked or you have no desire to know, now is your chance to change channels or turn off the set.

…………. (Those of you who wish to stay can hum a little tune now while the others go elsewhere.)

Okay. Here’s the skinny. There are a couple of options for reconstruction after mastectomy. I chose the tissue expander method. In this case, an empty sack was placed under my chest muscle by a plastic surgeon just after the breast surgeon had completed her job. It has a little tube and a valve in it, and a few weeks after the initial surgery, the plastic surgeon starting injecting saline into it, a little bit at a time, every couple of weeks or so. Basically, this stretches the skin. Once it gets to the desired size (a couple of months from now), I go in for another surgery. Then the sack will be removed and replaced with a permanent saline or silicone implant.

But, wait! That’s not all. Then comes the reconstruction of the nipple (or nibble, as one of our kids used to say.) But that’s another chapter, another time.

It’s a pretty amazing and sometimes uncomfortable process. But I really can't complain too much about the latter.

I know I am lucky to be doing this instead of needing chemo or radiation. While this is no walk in the park, in the scheme of things I am very fortunate.

we cannot stop the truth, but we can change the truth

These are the words that begin the chorus of the song written and performed by the choir at St. Mary Kevin Orphanage Motherhood. (If you want to hear the song, please visit the CTT website/ pictures page.)

Because of the continuous support of friends of Change the Truth, I am happy to report that we have recently offered secondary school sponsorships to three more deserving children. They are: Martin Ojok, Daniel Okello and Paula Namugenyi. Needless to say, these young people are ecstatic to be presented with the opportunity to attend school. They know, as well as anyone, that this is the way to avoid the grim future that so many orphans in Africa face.

That brings the total number of kids sponsored by Change the Truth to twenty. Thanks to each of you who has stepped up to make a donation to this project. It is a good thing you are doing. We hope to see these kids all the way through secondary school, then on to vocational school or University. And there are more kids waiting to begin their studies.

Here are more pictures of some of the sponsored students.

Saka

Joseph

Habib

Gloria

Emanuel Vincent

the rape of europa

An important documentary is opening in theatres around the country. Here is an article about “The Rape of Europa” that appeared in the Fall issue of the Jerusalem Post:

“The Nazi regime was not only the world's greatest murderer, but the biggest thief as well.

High on the list of loot were Europe's master paintings and sculptures, with failed artist Adolf Hitler and his avaricious henchman Hermann Goering personally spearheading the plunder.

More than 60 years after the fall of the Third Reich, the fallout from the great Nazi robbery is continuing, with thousands of art works still missing or sought by their original, largely Jewish, owners.

The story, as meticulously tracked in the two-hour documentary, The Rape of Europa, is complex, but even those unenthused by visits to galleries or museums will find the plotline riveting.

Numbers alone don't tell the story, but they are staggering. In total, the Nazis seized some 600,000 paintings, drawings, sculptures and Judaica artifacts during their 12-year reign, according to historian Jonathan Petropoulos of Claremont McKenna College, one the top experts on the subject.

As one small example, a detachment of the US Army's ‘Monuments Men’ found 6,500 paintings and sculptures in one Bavarian salt mine alone, and sent them to a collection point, which held 27 Rembrandt paintings.

Petropoulos said in an interview that up to 100,000 looted art works might still be missing, some destroyed, but others that may not be rediscovered for generations.

Hitler's obsession with art was as monumental, and as fervently anti-Semitic as his other manias. As a struggling young artist, Hitler was twice rejected for admission to Vienna's Academy of Fine Arts. The film's narrator ponders how the course of history might have been changed if Hitler had not been turned down by the academy's heavily Jewish faculty.

Hitler's revenge fantasy included the construction of a grandiose Fuehrer Museum in his hometown of Linz to house the greatest of his looted art works. Up until his last hours in his Berlin bunker, Hitler reworked his delusional plans for the museum.

Rape Of Europa opens and closes with shots of Maria Altmann, the 91-year old Los Angeles resident, who battled the Austrian and American governments for seven years to recover five paintings by Gustav Klimt, taken from her Viennese family and valued at $300 million.

In one of the landmark cases in the history of looted art, E. Randol Schoenberg, Altmann's lawyer, took the case up to the U.S. Supreme Court and won.

The film is the work of three San Francisco-based veterans of PBS documentaries, Richard Berge, Bonni Cohen and Nicole Newnham. Cohen is also the founder of Actual Films, which produced Rape of Europa, and she and her colleagues worked eight years on the documentary, basing it on Lynn H. Nicholas' book of the same title.

The filmmakers have crammed a remarkable amount of information and historical context into their work, enlivened by vintage footage of Hitler and other Nazi art connoisseurs and the work of Allied recovery teams.

Among the most vivid images is a ghost-like Louvre in Paris in 1939, emptied of its 35,000 works of art in advance of the German onslaught. Another is the picture of cheering Florentines, lining the streets to welcome the return, on U.S. Army trucks, of the city's looted paintings.

The saga is not over yet. Many paintings will likely never be recovered and the tedious work of returning others to their original owners is still continuing.”

cropping

I used to be quite the purist when it came to using the full frame of the pictures I made. I believe strongly that the ability to compose an image in the viewfinder is an important and necessary skill, one that forces the photographer to be careful, observant, thoughtful and precise. In most of the work I print(ed) in the wet darkroom, I include the black edge of the negative, both as an aesthetic piece and a declaration that what you see in the final image was what the camera captured when I released the shutter.

Working with digital capture has loosened (freed) me up a bit. I do crop now (not always), mainly because I still prefer the square format to the rectangle, and there is no such thing as an affordable square format digital camera. I am in the process of training my eye to impose an imaginary square in the viewfinder. (Yes, I suppose I could use tape or something, but this is actually working for me.)


So, usually the cropping is minimal: a chunk off either side. But there is one picture I made in Uganda that I really did a number on, and it has (surprisingly) become an important piece in this new body of work. You can see the first simple square crop in a post from December 10, 2007. Once home from the trip, I worked on it some more. The final result, a much more severe crop, injected the piece with the emotion that was/is truly there for me. I guess sometimes you just have to dig a little deeper to find what is there. I’m glad I have given myself permission now to do just that.

On a final note, I saw a portrait exhibition at the Nelson-Atkins Museum yesterday. Keith Davis, curator to beat all curators, suggested that a portrait can and usually does reveal “an external truth” AND an “internal truth.” I could not agree more, and in fact, I believe this picture sums that up better than anything I’ve made in a long time.

lensbaby 101

To celebrate the arrival of spring and my feeling better, I bought myself a "lensbaby." It kind of turns your SLR camera into a Holga or Diana (cheap, plastic "toy" camera). Kind of...

Anyway, here's my first foray into the lensbaby world - an abstraction of the beautiful orchid sent to me by a good friend while I was in the hospital.

kertesz

The critic from Durango mentioned in his review of my show at Open Shutter Gallery that my work has been influenced by Andre Kertesz. I’ve not heard that before, and I consider it a compliment. I certainly love his work and have looked at it over and over again throughout the years. I couldn’t help but think back to the time I had the distinct pleasure of meeting him. He was in Kansas City in the early 80’s for a major exhibition at the University. I hung a smattering a pieces in my gallery in honor of and in conjunction with that show. He came to the gallery for a small reception; he enjoyed the small exhibit and met some collectors.

I couldn’t resist sharing this snapshot made in front of my gallery. That’s baby Abbie in my arms! It looks like Kertesz and I are making a nice connection, but all I recall is that I was just so honored to be in his presence. It was a very special day, to be sure.


“André Kertész is recognized as one of the world's leading photographers. During a career spanning more than 70 years, he created images of ordinary life, in a style without pretension, using small-format cameras almost exclusively. As his instinctive formal sense became more assured, he retained the vital curiosity which first prompted him at age 18, to make a visual record of his daily life.

Working in a variety of modes, from portraits to still-lifes to nude distortions to photo-reportage, Kertész consistently captured the telling moment and the overlooked but expressive details of his subjects. He had an enduring influence upon world photography, particularly in France where he was a mentor to photographers such as Henri Cartier-Bresson, Robert Capa, and Brassai. Cartier-Bresson has acknowledged this achievement: ‘Whatever we have done, Kertész did first.’

Acclaimed a master by his peers, critics, and curators by the late 1930s, Kertész's reputation suffered during the 1940s and 1950s as his commercial work in America distracted viewers from his European achievements. Since 1963, however, the full range of his mastery - fragile, intimate and gently ironic - has been undeniable. Exhibitions and a stream of books and monographs during the past 20 years of his creative life have re-established Kertész in his rightful place in the photographic pantheon.”
- MastersofPhotography.com

Here are some examples of Kertesz’s work.

kevin carter

“Witness the shot of a stick-thin, malnourished toddler who stopped to rest on her way to a feeding station in war-torn Sudan. The picture, taken by South African photojournalist Kevin Carter, shows the girl on her knees, bent at the waist with her forehead resting on the dry, dusty dirt.

She is alone except for a vulture behind her, waiting for her to die.

This picture captivated the world in 1993 and won a Pulitzer Prize in 1994. A few months later, Carter taped a garden hose to the exhaust of his pick-up truck and fed the other end into the passenger side window.

Broke and depressed over the loss of a friend, his suicide note read, in part, ‘I am haunted by the vivid memories of killings & corpses & anger & pain . . . of starving or wounded children, of trigger-happy madmen, often police, of killer executioners.'"
- I.U. South Bend Preface, 4/07

“Mr. Carter started as a sports photographer in 1983 but soon moved to the front lines of South African political strife, recording images of repression, anti-apartheid protest and fratricidal violence. A few days after winning his Pulitzer Prize in April, Mr. Carter was nearby when one of his closest friends and professional companions, Ken Oosterbroek, was shot dead photographing a gun battle in Tokoza township.

His picture of an emaciated girl collapsing on the way to a feeding centre, as a plump vulture lurked in the background, was published first in The New York Times and The Mail & Guardian, a Johannesburg weekly. The reaction to the picture was so strong that The New York Times published an unusual editor's note on the fate of the girl. Mr. Carter said she resumed her trek to the feeding centre. He chased away the vulture.

Afterwards, he told an interviewer, he sat under a tree for a long time, ‘smoking cigarettes and crying’. His father, Mr. Jimmy Carter said last night: ‘Kevin always carried around the horror of the work he did.’”
- The New York Times, 1994, from Carter’s obituary

A recent discussion among those of us who traveled together to Uganda this past December about the moral dilemmas with which image- makers are sometimes confronted, as well as the emotional hardships endured by witnessing and recording trauma, led to a conversation about Kevin Carter and this well known photograph.

The photograph won Carter a Pulitzer Prize and catapulted him to photo fame; it also evoked much criticism. Many felt it was wrong of him to simply stand by and make a picture of the starving girl rather than putting down his camera and helping her to the nearby feeding center. Others took the stance that had he not made the picture, Sudan would have remained an unknown tragedy.

It is a thought provoking dialogue, one that often comes up among image-makers in devastating situations. If you would like to learn more about Carter check out this video.

auschwitz through the lens of the ss

Earlier this week, I attended an incredible program presented by the Midwest Center for Holocaust Education. It featured Becky Erbelding, an archivist at the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, who came to KC with an impressive depth of scholarly information and a powerful group of photographs. (She is only twenty-six years old, by the way - a comforting realization that the story will continued to be told.)

In late 2006, a retired U.S. Army Lieutenant Colonel notified USHMM and said that he would like to donate a photo album that he had found in an abandoned apartment in Germany in 1946. This man (now elderly and who asked to remain anonymous) had been a member of the Counter Intelligence Corps and had conducted investigations of Nazi perpetrators for U.S. prosecutors after WW II.

The inscription on the front of the album read, “Auschwitz 21.6.1944.”

There are very few known wartime photographs of the Auschwitz concentration camp complex, which included Auschwitz-Birkenau, the largest Nazi killing center. By November 1944, the SS had killed more than a million Jews and tens of thousands of Roma, Poles, and Soviet prisoners of war in Auschwitz-Birkenau. At least 865,000 Jews were killed immediately upon arrival. Most were killed in the gas chambers.

The album has been attributed to Karl Hocker, basically the “chief of staff” at Auschwitz. He was stationed there from May 1944 until the evacuation of the camp in January 1945. The appearance of the album was an astonishing event at USHMM.

The presentation of photographs kept me spellbound. After all, I’ve grown quite accustomed to seeing photos of prisoners at various camps. Never had I seen what was going on with the SS; as the gas chambers were operating at maximum efficiency during the last months before the camp was evacuated, the officers were relaxing at their retreat center, singing, partying and socializing with the female employees. Even in the final months of the war, after Soviet troops had liberated some camps to the east, SS officers at Auschwitz continued enjoying life to its fullest.

Here’s what got to me the most as I sat there looking at these pictures: several of my Holocaust survivor friends were in the audience. How in the world did they feel seeing these images for the first time? What was the possibility that their mother, sister or grandfather had been ordered to the gas chamber by one of these officers just before a pictured sing-along or round of drinks?