2015 guggenheim fellows

Take a look at the work of the recipients of the Guggenheim this year!

no guggie again

This was the second year I applied for a Guggenheim Fellowship. This was the second time I didn't receive one.

We artists are a curious group for many reasons, one of which is that most of us are constantly setting ourselves up for rejection of some kind. Like the writers, painters and filmmakers I know, in order to get my work "out there" I have to put it in front of curators, editors, gallerists and the viewing public on a regular basis. Sometimes that's fun and successful, and other times it's kind of like hearing your parent say to your younger self upon presenting a paper or drawing about which you feel really proud: "Can't you do any better than this? Sorry, but it's just not that good!"

Of course, most of us do have jobs that involve rejection: getting passed over for a raise or promotion, getting fired, not receiving any slaps on the back for a job well-done, etc. I know artists aren't alone when we feel under appreciated for the work we do. Perhaps it's just more public and more regular. As well, if there is no support from publications, galleries, fellowships, etc. the artist is compelled to find other means of financial support. It's kind of a shame that the woman who wants to be a dentist can to school to study it, can get a degree and then get a job looking into the mouths of her patients, while the woman who wants to be an artist goes to school to study it, gets a degree and then, more often than not, waits tables or, worse yet continues to make art, but in a "lowest common denominator" kind of way to make it mainstream and accessible. Many teach and have little or no time to make their own work.

Of course, there are exceptions to this rule. I'm always excited to meet an artist who has managed to make his/her way on the artwork alone, especially when highly personal projects are involved.

As I said in my emails to those who wrote letters on my behalf for the Guggenheim, I will continue to plug away at this goal, as I'm not one to give up easily. In the meantime, I'll continue to be passionate about and grateful for my "job" as a photographer. 

I just wish there was a different way to go about this career, one that didn't require such a herculean effort to attain enough acceptance letters to keep moving forward.

(Oh, did I mentioned all the requests for donated or pro-bono work?)

I'm eager to hear who did get the Guggies in photography this year. I'll certainly offer each of them a hearty congratulations. 

And hope for the best next year.

a guggie i did not get

Last summer I began the process of applying for a Guggenheim Fellowship. I had decided in the spring to take on this endeavor, and I spent a great deal of time thinking about the proposal I would submit.

In the end - and over the course of several weeks - I wrote three separate proposals. The Guggenheim folks basically want to know how you might spend a year (and $30,000 to $40,000) completing a project you would not otherwise have the time and/or resources to put into motion. It's an amount that is supposed to free you from the chains of having to "work" during the year - designed to allow the you to devote your creative efforts to a project of your own choosing for a duration of approximately one year. Think Robert Frank and "The Americans."

I finally settled on proposal #3, spent a lot of time writing and assembling other support information, made a set of twenty very carefully edited photographs and convinced four esteemed people to write letters of recommendation for me. When I sent everything in the day before the deadline, I was glad to be finished, but I was also really happy that I had subjected myself to the process. While it was somewhat grueling, it proved to be a thought provoking period, full of introspection and self evaluation  - one that forced me to consider more fully than ever the choices I have made living a photographer's life.

The process of applying for a Guggenheim Fellowship is shrouded in secrecy. There are few hints to be found anywhere in books or online. There is no "how to" manual. I ended up making several calls to past "Guggie" recipients so I could find out what their secrets to success were. I finally realized that it was a total crap shoot for me; I didn't really expect to get it (but, of course, I was secretly hoping I would).

I got the rejection letter today.

It was the same day my grandson Henry got to come home from the hospital after a pretty severe and scary illness. Because of that timing, I was able to put it all into a proper and healthy perspective and realize that everything is relative. The joy and sheer relief I felt that grandson Henry was well enough to come home and that he will be fine was so much bigger than anything I felt about the Guggenheim. I ended this day feeling truly blessed, not sad or depressed.