my mom/my daughter

With my daughter's due date just a few days away, the realization that there will be a new baby in the family is finally really sinking in.

Suddenly I'm feeling sad that my mother is not here, waiting by the phone as I am now.

My mom would have already knitted a baby blanket and probably a little sweater with matching booties, too. She'd have asked if the baby's drawers are lined and if Abbie has put edging on the shelves. She'd have bought a pretty outfit for the the baby to wear home from the hospital. She'd have completed at least one needlepointed pillow or wall hanging for the nursery. She'd have already looked through catalogues for the perfect birth announcement. She'd have pulled out the baby pictures of her own grandmother, mother, herself and of me. Just to honor the past and to be reminded of the little pieces of us that may show up on the new baby's sweet face.

I could go on and on about what she'd be doing right now in preparation for the arrival of her great grandchild.

While I'm in this sentimental and melancholy mood, I'm going to share the words of my favorite song about a new baby. It's "Little Green" by Joni Mitchell.

"Born with the moon in Cancer
Choose her a name she will answer to
Call her green and the winters cannot fade her
Call her green for the children who've made her
Little green, be a gypsy dancer

He went to California
Hearing that everything's warmer there
So you write him a letter and say 'Her eyes are blue'
He sends you a poem and she's lost to you
Little green he's a non-conformer

Just a little green
Like the color when the spring is born
There'll be crocuses to bring to school tomorrow
Just a little green
Like the nights when the Northern lights perform
There'll be icicles and birthday clothes
And sometimes there'll be sorrow

Child with a child pretending
Weary of lies you are sending home
So you sign all the papers in the family name
You're sad and you're sorry but you're not ashamed
Little green have a happy ending

Just a little green
Like the color when the spring is born
There'll be crocuses to bring to school tomorrow
Just a little green
Like the nights when the Northern lights perform
There'll be icicles and birthday clothes
And sometimes there'll be sorrow"


I'm also posting the first formal portrait I ever made of Abigail. December, 1980. Just a week or two after she was born.


She's wearing a dress my mother (and maybe even her mother) had worn when she was a newborn. It was a little big on Abbie at that point, but I was determined to make the picture. I am, after all, my mother's daughter. Sentimental to the core.